Campervan Hire from Los Angeles to Monument Valley. Head deep into the twisted heart of the American Dream...
Hiring a Wicked Camper in Los Angeles? Why not get freaky and go inland across the Mojave Desert, through Las Vegas, into the Grand Canyon and into Utah and the heart of the twisted American Dream! With wide open desert and the moon-like surface of the Mojave, the absurdity of Las Vegas & serenity of the Grand Canyon, this roadtrip is one of the all time best USA adventures!
This road trip planner takes you from Los Angeles, crazy desert, insane Vegas adventures, wide-open roads and the general weirdness that comes from living in the US mid-west. Enjoy our radical roadtrip as outline below...
Plan your Campervan Trip from Los Angeles
So, you wanna take a campervan roadtrip U-S-A style? Well good choice baby - the USA is perhaps the best country on Earth for roadtrippin'. Just not the Greyhound bus - that fucking sucks. I once took a 14 hour bus ride from San Diego to Las Vegas. Surrounded by pregnant 16-year-olds, fat cowboys and very sad people, it was like a Coen Brothers film that wouldn't fucking end...
Nevertheless - had you planned your trip a little better than I, you would have hired a campervan and hit the road on your own. Through the Mojave, maybe take a look at the art-deco wank of Palm Springs or just to take a photo in front of the Sky Valley sign featured on the Kyuss album. Anything's better than the bus - man I would snort shards of glass from a fat mans arse-crack before getting on another greyhound bus.
As I say - it's important to plan your roadtrip a little.
Hit the road.
So you've dealt with the extremely good-looking fuckers in the Wicked Campers LA Depot, and now you're ready to hit the road in your pseudo-60's, cuckoo's nest on wheels. Head East, following all signs to Las Vegas baby - unless you feel like a foray into San Bernadino for some chicken and biscuits and perhaps a bit of a chill session in a trailer park for an afternoon. But remember the golden rule of these parts - just because they're fat doesn't mean they can't hurt you. And some of these trailer park boys are fast, like bowling balls moving downhill once they get started.
A little detour from the highway can take you into Big Bear Lake and Deep Creek Springs on the outskirts of San Bernadino. These are pretty special and well worth the detour, just don't pick up any hitch-hikers named Steve or Matt - I hear they're the bad ones...
Into the Mojave Desert
So you're getting pretty comfortable in your Wicked Campervan yeah? Good. I'm happy for you. Not really, I'm jealous and angry, not just because you're there on a killer roadtrip and I'm here typing like a monkey. I'm angry because I forgot to tell you to go to In-n-Out burger on your way out of LA. Damn fine burgers and pretty much a staple part of Californian pop culture! Anyway, it's time to explore the fucking incredible Mojave Desert.
The Mojave is approximately 1.6 million acres of Joshua Trees, snakes, rocks and beautiful nothingness. If you dig nature, then you'll dig this! If you don't, then fuck you. No it's cool, just keep blasting til you get to Vegas then. Anyway, take Exit I-15 at Kelbaker Road in Baker into the Mojave and go about 34 miles towards the Kelso Dunes - big motherfucker sand dunes. Real Desert! Explore the area, take your time and soak up the serenity...
Get fucked up in Las Vegas
If there's one thing everyone says they wanna do, it's go to Vegas and burn more brain cells than anybody else. And there's a reason for this - it's fun as fuck! Las Vegas is pretty much a shit-hole, and while it's hard to polish a turd, I can write a few good things about Vegas. Firstly, you get free drinks if you gamble. Yes, you can get completely munted in the casino while trying to win back the cost of your campervan hire. Pretty sweet. Secondly, there's freaks everywhere. Remember, this is where fat, white, middle Americans come to blow off steam and mortgage the house - 'sorry kids, looks like dog food for dinner again!'.
On another note, there's a really cool Nuclear bomb museum in town, well worth a visit if you dig that stuff. There's also tours out to the bomb sites where the US Government used to make sand castles with 4-megatron fart-bombs. Who doesn't like blowing shit up??! Or you could see a washed-up singer at a fancy hotel.
Get your Campervan to the Grand Canyon
How's the campervan going? I bet by this point, you're glad you've hired a van. No timetables, no schedules - you can just go when you want. So if you have any money left after Las Vegas, and you are still able to drive without drooling all over the steering wheel, head towards Arizona. The Grand Canyon and the Hoover Damn await. When I went to the Hoover Damn I wasn't really all that impressed, I kind of felt like Beavis in the Beavis and Butthead movie. Just kind of stuck amongst old people and tour groups and screaming kids.
The Grand Canyon is about 300 miles from Vegas. Along the way are roadhouses and rocks and lots of dirt. It's like a Clint Eastwood film, except nobody is trying to kill you. Apparently this thing has been around for 2 billion years (slightly older than Madonna), and was formed as the Colorado River cut through the rock southwards - creating the giant canyon that people take stupid 'I'm falling' pictures in front of.
Head on out to Flagstaff, Arizona
Once you've had your fill of the Grand Canyon, pack up your hire campervan and hit the road for Flagstaff. Flagstaff has a suprising amount of interesting shit for a place built in the middle of fucking nowhere. Around 35 miles East of Flagstaff, there's a massive Meteor Crater - affectionately known to locals as 'Meteor Crater' - about 1.2km in diameter and 5km above sea level. If you dig holes in the ground, then surely this is for you. Wupatki National Monument, built by the Ancient Pueblo People around 500 A.D is also worth a gander.
There's also a tonne of Casino's in the area, just incase you didn't lose all your money in Vegas (and no, your campervan doesn't count as collateral). Other things to do in Flagstaff include, sitting, breathing and looking at things move in the wind. Fun for everyone!
Bask in the fucking glory of the Monument Valley!
Kind of speaks for itself really. It's big, impressive pointy-things protruding the earths surface in a skyward manner, with lots of red-deserty looking ground all around. But don't take my incredible observations of the region as reason enough to explore - Monument Valley has featured in at least 7 billion Hollywood movies including Easy Rider, Forrest Gump, 2001: A Space Odyssey, National Lampoon's Vacation and Back to the Future Part III.
It's also an amazing place for taking photo's, just be sure to include pictures of your campervan. And then send them to us. We like pictures. And we like you, and we think you'll dig this roadtrip. So get out there, hire a campervan from the sexy fuckers at Wicked Campers Los Angeles and start exploring the majesty of rocks and things.
Wicked Campers Los Angeles combines budget travellers with the perfect backpacking adventure. Unbeatable prices on our campervans rental options and total freedom to go anywhere you want. Unbeatable experience with many roadtrip options and wide variety of vans.
For a great start to your holiday book a Wicked campervan in LA! Here you will find sexy, safe and cheap campervan offers. Take advantage of special rates we offer as well as special offers at Wicked. The rest of this text is just here to fill the page really, so if you're not convinced to hire a campervan with Wicked yet, then geez you are hard work. I mean what else do you want out of a holiday? Except sexy sex - everyone loves that. And with a large bed, our Wicked Campers are great for sexy sex - especially holiday sex, which always seems way better than regular 9-5 sex. I wonder why that is?